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avatar OneStepTwoStepIppo 1 mon.ago

Euler couldn't find a job in Athens

He ran out of Greece

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Looking for a natural mood booster? Science agrees: laughter truly is medicine for the soul! Whether you need a quick pick-me-up, an icebreaker for awkward moments, or just want to spread joy, corny jokes are your secret weapon.

In this curated list, we’ve compiled the best dad-approved one-liners, groan-worthy puns, and cheeky quips guaranteed to deliver belly laughs. Share these crowd-pleasing jokes at work, family dinners, or parties—no prescription needed!

funny dad jokes

funny dad jokes
1. Why do Linux admins prefer to work in the basement?

Because they hate Windows.

2. A guy enters a shoe store

He asks the employee for a pair of shoes he likes. The employee, in his experience, looks at the man's feet: "You look like a size 10." The man says: "Yes, but I'm gonna need a size 8." The employee doesn't really understand why but brings out a size 8 and watches the man force himself into these tight shoes. It's a struggle. The man manages to put them on, limps around a little bit, says "I'll take them" and walks out wearing them. Next week the man comes back. Picks another pair of shoes, only this time he wants a size 7. The employee doesn't mind so much, he's selling shoes and the guy pays in full, so he complies. This time it's an even bigger struggle, but sure enough manages with a couple of shoehorns, pays and limps out. The week after, same thing, the man walks in and asks for a size 6. At this point the employee has to ask: "What is it with the shoes?" And the man goes: "Well, my wife left me, my kids won't talk to me, I hate my job and don't get paid enough for it, I have no friends or colleagues, but at least at the end of the day I can come home and take these fuckin' shoes off!"

3. Fortune Cookie

Ordered some Chinese food recently for my 61st birthday, and the fortune cookie that came with it said 'YOU WILL HAVE HAPPY DAYS SOON'. This really freaked me out! I mean, I use a VPN, how did they know what I was downloading?

4. An apple a day keeps the doctor away.

An onion a day keeps *everyone* away.

5. Mom: is our son still a newborn after 3 months?

Dad: No honey, he's born now, Jason Bourne.

6. How many layers does an egg have?

One.

7. What do you call it when grandpa clears the room by soiling his diaper

Weaponized incontinence

8. As men get older, as their hair turns grey, as wrinkles start to appear on the face, they learn a universal truth about getting older.

You're only as old as the girls you feel.

9. I went to see a sad movie and people in the theater were crying...

One person in the last row started whaling. I got hit in the back of the head with a harpoon!

10. I just watched Nosferatu. I felt confused. Maybe I should have watched Nosfera-One.

Ba dum tiss. I leave now.

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