I find bathplugs very useful, on the hole

Tentacles.

Wrap concert

Yeah, it's basically pop-corn.

Q: Where do you find a cow with no legs? A: Right where you left it. I couldn't be more proud.

Daft Punk

And asks them what they are painting. It’s a person breaking out of jail they reply. The art teacher is curious and asks, now why would you be painting that? The student replied: well isn’t it obvious? I’m an escape artist! Told to me and made up by my 10 year old. I am no longer the father of the house. So proud. Edit: a word

An on-call-ogist

Who is there? I eat mop I eat mop who?

He was grandfathered in.

The frog goes up to the teller and see's the nametag on the counter says Whack. Frog: "Hi Mrs. Whack, I'd like to get a loan". Teller: "Sure we can do that, just need to know a few things, first what's your name?" Frog: "Kermit" Teller: "You're not Kermit the frog" Frog: "No, I get that a lot. I'm named after him, but my name is Kermit Jagger, Mick Jagger is my dad, and my mom is Kermit's cousin." Teller: "What collateral do you have?" The frog pulls out a small porcelain elephant and hand it to her. Teller: "I don't know about this, I'll have to check with the bank manager" The teller goes to the bank managers office and knocks on the door. Manager: "Yes Patty" Teller: "I've got this From, Kermit Jagger who is looking to get a loan, and he says he can use this for collateral. Any idea what it is and if we can use it?" Manager: "Let me see this. Ahh yes. This is a nick knack Patty Whack, give the frog a loan, his old man is a rolling stone"