What do you call a woman who sounds like an ambulance?

They use ham-me-downs.

She said: “I’ll be there with a pillow”

The whole family was shocked

You see, this is why I’m letting you go from the Bakery.

I told her not to let the door hit her on her way back in

Her husband asked her if she could have anything she wanted on her birthday, no matter how impossible, what would it be? She told him "It's kind of silly, but I'd really like to be six again." That gave the husband a great idea for a big surprise. On the morning of her birthday, he served her breakfast in bed, which was a big bowl of Lucky Charms cereal. Then afterwards they drove off to the local amusement park, where they went on the merry-go-round, the Ferris wheel, the bumper cars and even the roller coaster. Then he took his wife, who was still dizzy from the rides, over to the games and he played them and won her a giant stuffed panda bear, then bought her cotton candy and a balloon. Then they drove off again, where they went to McDonald's and he bought her a Happy meal. Afterwards they got back in the car and went to see an animated kid's movie, and he bought her popcorn, candy and pop. Finally it was late evening and the couple went home, exhausted. What a wonderful day it had been! The husband and his wife went straight upstairs and collapsed onto their bed. He turned and smiled at her and asked, "Well honey, how did your enjoy being six years old again on your birthday?" "When I said I wanted to be six again, I wasn't talking about my age, I was talking about my dress size!" she angrily replied.

I had to remove the appendix.

She says "A divorce." And he says "I wasn't planning on spending that much."

They don’t no anything

Wasabi.