There was a Scottish house painter named Smokey MacGregor who was very interested in making a penny where he could, so he often thinned down his paint to make it go a wee bit further. As it happened, he got away with this for some time, but eventually the Baptist Church decided to do a big restoration job on the outside of one of their biggest buildings. Smokey put in a bid, and because his price was so low, he got the job. So he set about erecting the scaffolding and setting up the planks, buying paint and yes, I am sorry to say, thinning it down with water... Well, Smokey was up on the scaffolding, painting away, the job nearly completed, when suddenly there was a horrendous clap of thunder, the sky opened, and the rain poured down washing the thinned paint from all over the church and knocking Smokey clear off the scaffold to land on the lawn among the gravestones, surrounded by telltale puddles of the thinned and useless paint. Smokey was no fool. He knew this was a judgment from the Almighty, so he got down on his knees and cried: "Oh, God, Oh God, forgive me; what should I do?" And from the thunder, a mighty voice spoke.. "Repaint! Repaint!* And thin no more!"*
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An electric wheelchair helps disabled people, and an electric chair helps disable people.
To cover their butt-quack.
She looked great going down the stairs.
It’s called “Terror Riffs”
Mostly because it can go south really quick.
I was covered in ham-booger.
I told her that's a waist of time
A husband was waiting in the car for his wife to come out from her gynaecologists appointment. After some time the wife comes out to the car crying. The husband, obviously concerned asks her:“Honey, what’s wrong?, is everything okay?” The wife replies: “I am so sorry, it’s not okay. The Gynaecologist told me that I can never have sex again!” The husband slams on the gas and rips out of the parking lot going 100 mph. He then looks over at his wife and says: “I am taking you to the damn dentist for a second opinion”
I just don't how to dish it out.
Me: depends, what’s in the box?
more jokes Here waiting for you
best dad jokesjokes for adultHere, we’ve gathered the funniest dad jokes, jokes for kids, funny jokes, witty comebacks, and hilarious memes from across the web. Whether you need stress relief, a quick laugh, or the perfect icebreaker for social situations, we’ve got you covered!
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