We couldn’t afford aphabet soup when I was a kid and our vocabulary suffered.

 I didn't have any ideas. So he showed me: he took a paper, asked me to sign it, and when I said I didn't have a pen, he sold me the pen. Then he gave me another chance and asked me to sell him a napkin. I punched him in the face.

The door. It’s always pounded on

He’s still grappling with it

Now we have countries run by cunts

A man caught a fish, and as he was removing it from the hook it began to speak. “Look, I'm going to be straightforward with you. You can let me go right now and receive a wish. But just so you know, I'm not like those genies in bottles…I grant only one wish and you better pick wisely, because sometimes people are better off without their wishes.” The man thought for some time, and decided to go with the safest wish he could think of: to be a prince. He let the fish go and went home. When he woke up the next morning he was in a palace bedroom with a servant bringing him breakfast in bed. When he was done eating he went to get dressed and in the closet hung the finest clothing he’d ever seen in his life, and when the valet asked him what he would like to wear he had a hard time deciding – it was all so wonderful. When he was dressed he went downstairs to the morning room for breakfast where a string quartet was playing beautiful music and the lovely woman who was his wife was waiting for him. She walked over, kissed his cheek and whispered in his ear, “Ferdinand, don’t forget, today we’re going to Sarajevo.”

It is now illegal for men to compete in women's sports

So I explain to her that of course I am smarter. Because while we are having sex I am plugged into a “Know it all”.

You just need one toddler to climb into the enclosure, we learned that in 2016

After a few drinks they went back to her place and had wild, passionate sex. "I guess that was just about the best sex you ever had," he said when they were done. "What makes you say that?" she asked. "Well," he replied, "While we were doing it, I couldn't help but notice how I made your toes curl." "Oh," she said, "That's because most men take off my pantyhose first."

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