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I paid a lot of money to get my bandage removed

It was a rip off

dadjoke

clean dad joke

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Looking for a natural mood booster? Science agrees: laughter truly is medicine for the soul! Whether you need a quick pick-me-up, an icebreaker for awkward moments, or just want to spread joy, corny jokes are your secret weapon.

In this curated list, we’ve compiled the best dad-approved one-liners, groan-worthy puns, and cheeky quips guaranteed to deliver belly laughs. Share these crowd-pleasing jokes at work, family dinners, or parties—no prescription needed!

funny dad jokes

funny dad jokes
1. Did you hear about the nun who was wearing her clothes inside out?

She said it was a bad habit.

2. Prosecutors are debating what penalty to seek for Luigi Mangione

They have narrowed it down to death, life imprisonment, or mandatory use of United Health insurance plans.

3. Two pilots were flying from Arizona to Nevada on a foggy night. They unfortunately crashed the plane on the border of the two states.

The black box was found and the investigators listened to the pilots' conversation, and they instantly knew the cause of the crash was poor visibility. The last words of the pilots was "DAM DUDE!"

4. How do you call the sun shining on the beach?

Son of a bitch.

5. What's the difference between a 4 year-old boy and 1 kg of cocaine?

Eric Clapton would never let 1 kg of cocaine fall out of a window!

6. There’s an aurora Borealis (northern lights) display forecasted tonight.

I think we’re definitely gonna have a lit time.

7. Did you hear that corduroy pillows are trendy now?

They're making lots of headlines!

8. I put some snail traps in my garden yesterday. Today, nothing.

...I really don't know why I was expecting fast results?

9. My wife says I can act like a selfish asshole sometimes.

Before we were married she wouldn’t give me the permission…

10. Stephen Miller has a new plan to solve both immigration and hunger issues.

The government will issue soylent green cards to all immigrants.

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