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So, a bunch of cows are being driven to the slaughterhouse...

but when it winds around a curve, one of the cows falls out of the back of the truck, down the ravine. What do you call that cow? A misteak.

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Looking for a natural mood booster? Science agrees: laughter truly is medicine for the soul! Whether you need a quick pick-me-up, an icebreaker for awkward moments, or just want to spread joy, corny jokes are your secret weapon.

In this curated list, we’ve compiled the best dad-approved one-liners, groan-worthy puns, and cheeky quips guaranteed to deliver belly laughs. Share these crowd-pleasing jokes at work, family dinners, or parties—no prescription needed!

funny dad jokes

funny dad jokes
1. A man phones the doctors.

"Hello, you've got through to the doctors. This is Mary speaking, how can I help?" "Owen Ung," says the man. "Hello Owen," replies the receptionist, "let me just check your profile. Oh--" she stops, "nothing is coming up. Can you just clarify your name for me?" "Owen Ung!" the man reiterates. "No..nothing on the record. I advise you to visit us personally, that way we can arrange a suitable date. How does that sound?" The man hangs up the phone. His wife walks in and says, "So Tom, did you get an appointment for your swollen tongue?"

2. I once asked a friend to borrow a blade for me to sharpen my pencil with...

He told me to ask wesley snipes

3. What’s the difference between an oral and a rectal thermometer?

The taste

4. What do shampoo and guns have in common?

Both are used to treat head problems.

5. If DJ is Dad Joke, then what is D + iJ?

Complex Dad Joke. If you didn't find that funny that's because the joke part was imaginary.

6. I asked the duck if I could pet him on the back.

He said he was down.

7. Why do all the other numbers work to keep 8 awake?

Because when 8 falls asleep, it’s forever.

8. Another classic from my family

Context: I have a very strong resemblance to my mother’s side of the family. All my life I’ve been getting comments from maternal side relatives about how like I am to my mother and grandmother. Anyway, one time my two maternal aunts were visiting. One of them looked at me and sighed, “You have your granny’s skin.” Then she started to giggle and said, “Give it back.”

9. I used to be addicted to soap...

but I'm clean now.

10. What's the difference between a straight rodeo and a gay rodeo?

One fan base yells "Ride them suckers!"

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