If the movie Ratatouille had been set in Japan instead of France would they have titled it…

Their words, not mine

He asks the soldier, "Soldier, why is that camel tied to the tent?" The soldier looks awkward and answers: "Er, well Sir, as you know there are no women on the base so er, the camel is there for when the men get certain.... um...urges" The general nods in understanding and says, "Well I don't condone this behaviour, but I suppose I understand" A few weeks into the post, the general starts feelings these urges himself. He calls for the soldier to bring the camel to his tent. He then goes outside, gets a stool, and has wild animal sex with the camel. After he's finished, he climbs confidently off of the stool and sees the soldier staring at him, wide-eyed. "So" the general says with a grin, "Is that how you boys do it here?" The soldier answers, still wide-eyed, "No Sir, we usually just ride the camel into the nearby town where the women are"

American Runs on Dunkin’

Because he heard the drinks were on the house.

I said, “how the *hell* did you get my number??”

I ask him if he's ok, and he replies inbetween his groans. "Nah I'm good don't worry" Me personally, I think he's full of shit.

“We used a team of bees to lure the criminals to the scene and catch them in the act. It was a honey pot sting operation.”

I saw a job advertised for the cleaning company dealing with a very large skyscraper, cleaning all the mirrors in the building. I thought, there's a job I can see myself doing.

Take shelter

turns out nobody could cross the finish line