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The longest joke ever

A snail walks into a bar...

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Looking for a natural mood booster? Science agrees: laughter truly is medicine for the soul! Whether you need a quick pick-me-up, an icebreaker for awkward moments, or just want to spread joy, corny jokes are your secret weapon.

In this curated list, we’ve compiled the best dad-approved one-liners, groan-worthy puns, and cheeky quips guaranteed to deliver belly laughs. Share these crowd-pleasing jokes at work, family dinners, or parties—no prescription needed!

funny dad jokes

funny dad jokes
1. Our local Steam Museum just announced its new equality policy for locomotive engineers.

It's a woman's right to choo-choos.

2. What do you call untrustworthy fish

Fishy

3. Hollywood was shocked when Faye Dunaway was murdered...

they said "They've done away with Faye!" . . . . . . . (note: she's not dead)

4. I recently dropped 15 pounds

Now my friend won’t let me hold his baby.

5. Camouflage

Why is it spelled "camouflage" and not

6. A husband was addicted to smoking and drinking.

One day, his wife got so angry that she told him: “If you keep on smoking, all of your intestines will fall out.” Her husband didn’t believe her, so he kept on smoking and drinking just like he always did. His wife was determined to prove herself right, so one day she went out early in the morning to the local butcher shop and bought some big intestines. She stuffed them into her husband’s underwear as he slept. A short while later, he woke up, let out a huge scream, and then fell silent for the next 30 minutes. After another 30 minutes of silence, he comes downstairs, sweating profusely. “What happened?” his wife asked. “You were right! My intestines did come out, but don’t worry honey - after a lot of work, I finally managed to push them back in.”

7. What do you call James Bond with yellowish hairs ?

James Blond

8. If you have a stressful life, you should learn counting in Spanish

I mean, UNDOSTRESS

9. What’s the difference between a poorly dressed man on a unicycle and a well-dressed man on a bicycle?

Attire.

10. I saw a Subway without a drive thru.

I thought: "Are we supposed to drive through the store?"

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