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avatar theJoneser 3 mon.ago

I won a contest at the state fair for growing the biggest pickle.

It was kind of a big dill.

dadjoke

clean dad joke

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Looking for a natural mood booster? Science agrees: laughter truly is medicine for the soul! Whether you need a quick pick-me-up, an icebreaker for awkward moments, or just want to spread joy, corny jokes are your secret weapon.

In this curated list, we’ve compiled the best dad-approved one-liners, groan-worthy puns, and cheeky quips guaranteed to deliver belly laughs. Share these crowd-pleasing jokes at work, family dinners, or parties—no prescription needed!

funny dad jokes

funny dad jokes
1. I made a movie where in the final scene, the main character reveals his invisible penis.

Nobody saw it coming.

2. My nagging wife died suddenly on a trip to Jerusalem ..

Funeral director, "Sir, it would cost about £25,000 if we send her home back to the UK or £500 if we bury her here in Jerusalem." Me:"Ship her home." Funeral director: "But sir, why don't you bury her here in the Holy Land and you can save money." Me: "A long time ago a man was buried here and 3 days later he rose from the dead, I can't take that chance."

3. A man asks his partner for sex, they say "Not tonight, I have a headache."

He disappears into the bathroom for a few minutes, and emerges with his cock covered in white powder. He says "I've just ground up some aspirin and dusted my dick with it. Do you want to take it orally or as a suppository?"

4. the artist and his paintings

An artist asked the gallery owner If there been any interest in his paintings. I have good news and bad news the owner replied. the good news is that a gentleman inquired about your work and wondered if it would appreciate and value after your death. when I told him it would he bought all 15 of your paintings. " that's wonderful" the artist exclaimed, "what's the bad news?" - the guy was your doctor

5. What do you call someone that quits their job at Dairy Queen?

A desserter

6. Somebody stole my miniature model of a blue Superbird number 43

It was petty theft

7. When women get to a certain age, they start collecting dogs and cats

It's called manypaws

8. I was running a chicken dating website, but I had to close it down…

I was struggling to make hens meet.

9. A husband says to his wife:

"I'm going to take a picture of your boobs and frame it." "I think I'll take a picture of your penis and enlarge it," she replied.

10. Did you hear about the waiter that spilled hot Indian food on a rude customer?

It was instant Korma.

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