Did you hear about the team that created the world's strongest suction cup?

I hear its the wurst

I think he should have put some cones down.

You’ll be the one with the cutting edge technology.

I said to her whoever needs her clothes surely could not be starving And that’s when the fight began

They all sit down and order a cup of tea. The Englishman looks to his wife and says “could you pass the honey, honey?” The Scottish man thinks to himself how clever that was, then turns to his wife and says “could you pass the sugar, sugar?” The Irish man not wanting to be out witted by the other two men, looks over at his wife and says “Could you pass me the milk ye f\*cking cow?”

They're scheduled to play against the Phillies at Citizens Bank Park.

A Pastafarian

The Fatican

Vicious circle.

Looking down they're wondering which river flows underneath, the first says "I'm pretty sure it's the Mississippi river". The other replies "No I'm almost certain it's the Missouri river!" They go back and forth like this a bit, and after a while they realize they are both unsure. The first blonde gets an idea and says "You know what, I will jump down into the river, swim to the bank, and ask the first person I find which river this is, they oughta know!" "That's a great idea, I will wait here until you get back" says the other. So the first blonde jumps in, the other just waits, but hours and hours go by, until late at night, finally the first returns. Her legs broken, in a wheelchair, bruised all over, arm in bandages, she slowly makes her way to the other bonde, who is shocked and asks "what the hell happened?!" "Well," says the first blonde, "I found out which river it is, it's the I-70" *Sidenote; This is an old joke in my country, I translated it and 'Americanized' the joke so more people would understand, hope the references make sense, if not, well I tried ¯\\\_(ツ)\_/¯* Eta: changed I-5 to I-70