Two criminals have a garden romance.

She shouted out, "who's there" a voice replied it's the blind man, she says "come in" he replies nice tits now where do you want the blind!!

Ann Arbor

As they’re about to order, the bartender holds his hand up to stop them and says, “I think I have just the thing for each of you.  Give me a minute.”  He returns in a moment and gives the first two cats each a bowl of milk.  He hands a bowl with a single piece of fur to the third cat. Puzzled, the third cat asks “What’s this supposed to be? Why do you think I’d want a piece of fur?”  The bartender says, “Well, that’s not just any piece of fur, it's the hair of the dog that bit you.”

Barium.

You know what? I'm exstatic

A Roman Catholic

(with a southern drawl) Don't matter, he ain't comn'

and they were told by a tribe that each one should go get a fruit and shove it deep inside his ass. the first one got an apple. after he put it, he screamed so they killed him, the second guy got grapes, after he put it he burst out laughing, after they asked him why he was laughing he said i couldn't resist after i saw the third guy with 2 watermelons

Bulldozer