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avatar blawmt 5 mon.ago

Did you hear about the short psychic who escaped from prison?

The APB is for a small medium at large.

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Looking for a natural mood booster? Science agrees: laughter truly is medicine for the soul! Whether you need a quick pick-me-up, an icebreaker for awkward moments, or just want to spread joy, corny jokes are your secret weapon.

In this curated list, we’ve compiled the best dad-approved one-liners, groan-worthy puns, and cheeky quips guaranteed to deliver belly laughs. Share these crowd-pleasing jokes at work, family dinners, or parties—no prescription needed!

funny dad jokes

funny dad jokes
1. A blonde is on vacation...

She walks into an Internet café to send an e-mail to her mom back home. She doesn’t know how to work the computers so she goes up to the guy on the desk and says: “Excuse me could you help me send an e-mail to my mom?” "Sure," he says to her, “But it will cost you.” The blonde says, “Sure I’ll do anything for my mom.” “In that case, follow me.” She follows him into the back room and he pushes her down onto her knees, he unzips his trousers and pulls down his boxers. “Well go on then, you said you’d do anything!” So she grabs his penis, holds it up to her mouth and says: “Hello… mom are you there?”

2. Is anyone here capable of writing an actual dad joke anymore?

Oh, really? Nice to meet you “capable of writing an actual dad joke anymore”

3. “Gentlemen, we have been infiltrated by a mushroom.”

There is a fungus among us.

4. I loaned a dwarf $100 and they still owe me $20.

It's all good. They were just a little short.

5. I told my wife she was drawing her eyebrows too high..

She looked surprised!

6. Yesterday I sucked in my stomach and stood on the bathroom scale.

It didn’t lower my weight but it did allow me to see the numbers

7. Why was the dinosaur underweight?

It had Tyranorexia.

8. Two 80-somethings were walking down the street

The one carrying a bag of doughnuts said to the other, “If you can guess how many doughnuts are in my bag you can have both of them.”

9. why does snoop dog carry an umbrella?

fo'drizzle

10. I really appreciate it when someone has knowledge of naval tactics and warfare.

It's an admiral-able quality.

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