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avatar Dunge0nMast0r 9 mon.ago

Yo mamma so far that when they cremated her it made chicken salt.

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In this curated list, we’ve compiled the best dad-approved one-liners, groan-worthy puns, and cheeky quips guaranteed to deliver belly laughs. Share these crowd-pleasing jokes at work, family dinners, or parties—no prescription needed!

funny dad jokes

funny dad jokes
1. The Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles run into Mr. T walking with a woman. Michaelangelo asks "hey Mr. T who's the chick?"

Mr. T: It's April, fools!

2. the fastest dad

Who has the fastest dad Three young boys are playing in a playground when one of them says: my dad is the fastest in the world! He can shoot an arrow at a target, run to the target and catch the arrow before it hits the target. The second boy yells out: oh yeh? My dad is faster! He can fire a gun at a target… run to the target and catch the bullet before it hits the target! The first two boys turn to the 3rd boy and exclaim: hey! What about your dad? The 3rd boy smiles and says: my dad is by far the fastest: he works for the government. He works until 5:00 PM but is home by 4:30 PM!

3. A man is dead.

Looking around, he finds himself in a big dark pit. Next to him, huge cauldrons are standing on fires, tended by demons. Screams fill the air. **Man**: What?! Why, God, why? I did my best all my life, I always followed Your word, I suffered, why did you send me to Hell? The closest demon looks at him. Without saying a word, he goes to a cauldron and lifts the lid. Then another. Then a third. The man sees his boss, his mother-in-law, the IRS... **Man**: Phew! Heaven!

4. AI Bidet

A startup launches its world first Bidet with a camera and AI for guiding the water jet. After only a few weeks all units delivered had to be recalled. The Bidets seemed to prefer to drench its users rather than cleaning them properly. Investigators of the issue soon came to the conclusion that the AI has been trained by assholes.

5. I planned a surprise party for myself.

I arrived home, and nothing unexpected happened.

6. Rude awakening

You would be grumpy, too, if you woke up and found yourself at work.

7. An Italian man converted to Islam and was never seen again although people claimed they could hear him.

Davide O. was gone but Daudi O. persisted

8. I watched my first Porno movie last night.

Boy did I look younger then!

9. Hawaii honeymoon

A newly wedded couple was enjoying their honeymoon in Hawaii. They were extremely shy couple and not so experienced. But they tried to do their first oral sex. It was not so satisfactory. At last she figured it out. The bride just close her eyes, and keep saying "Honolulu" to herself. It gave the groom extreme pleasure. After one year of marriage, they tried to celebrate it with passionate lovemaaking. But she forgot the magic word. "Honey, what was the name of place when we stayed for our honeymoon?" "It was called Waikiki, dear."

10. Why does Mcconaughey love driving in New Jersey?

Because everything is all right, all right, all right!

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