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avatar LazyLion65 9 mon.ago

Yo mama so fat, I had to use GPS to walk past her at the park.

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Looking for a natural mood booster? Science agrees: laughter truly is medicine for the soul! Whether you need a quick pick-me-up, an icebreaker for awkward moments, or just want to spread joy, corny jokes are your secret weapon.

In this curated list, we’ve compiled the best dad-approved one-liners, groan-worthy puns, and cheeky quips guaranteed to deliver belly laughs. Share these crowd-pleasing jokes at work, family dinners, or parties—no prescription needed!

funny dad jokes

funny dad jokes
1. How does an emo like to float in the water?

Down the river!! Lmao

2. Yesterday, my wife told me to stop impersonating a flamingo!

I really had to put my foot down!

3. Donald Trump plans to ban shredded cheese upon taking office.

He wants to make America grate again.

4. Why is the dieting advice to “eat light” so dangerous?

That’s how you become a black hole….

5. A rabbit became a hitman.

Hare today, gun tomorrow.

6. I ate some bad clams in Paris

and got very ill de France

7. My wife is pretty mad at the fact that I have no sense of direction!

"So I packed up, and right"!

8. I asked my girlfriend if she'd like a throbbing head that spouts regular gushes of hot sticky mess, unfortunately it's still me that's got sinusitis.

9. Whats the simmilarity betweek a twinkie and a twink?

They are both filled with cream

10. One day God calls down to Noah and says, "Noah me old mate, I want you to make me a new Ark".

Noah replies, "No probs God, me old Supreme Being, anything you want after all you're the boss... But God interrupts, "Ah, but there's a catch. This time, I do not want just a couple of decks, I want 20 decks one on top of the other". "20 DECKS!", screams Noah. "Well, OK Big Man, whatever you say. Should I fill it up with all the animals just like last time?" "Yep, that's right, well . . sort of right . . this time I want you to fill it up with fish", God answers. "Fish?" queries Noah. "Yep, fish . . well, to make it more specific Noah, I want carp wall to wall, floor to ceiling Carp!" Noah looks to the skies. "OK God my old mucker, let me get this right, You want a New Ark?" "Check". "With 20 decks, one on top of the other?" "Check". "And you want it full of Carp?". "Check." "Why?" asks the perplexed Noah, who was slowly but surely getting to the end of his tether.......... "Dunno", says God, "I just fancied a Multi-Storey Carp Ark."

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