Yo mama so fat her ashes turned into a second moon

Eventually I kicked the habit.

What a bunch of basic bitches.

To my surprise, the calendar skipped from April to June. I turned to tell her we're missing a month. She said, "What's the matter? You look dis-Mayed..." She's apparently been waiting a month for this set up

He saw the Color ID

There once was a royal wedding, and the King and Queen wanted to "ensure all went well in the bedchamber." When the newlyweds retired, both parents had their ears stuck to the bedchamber door. Meanwhile, the Princess, having changed for the reception, was having a problem getting her shoes off. She asked the Prince for help. "Oh my gosh," exclaimed the Prince when he got the first one off, "That was really tight." "See," whispered the Queen, "I told you she was a virgin." The Prince told his bride, "Now for the other one." The King whispered to the Queen, "That's my boy!"

"It's not polite to point".

Apparently she likes to go Dutch

While in Gettysburg to give his address, Abraham Lincoln stayed overnight with an old widow, Mrs. Armistead. She was a pretty bossy old bat and gave Lincoln a long list of chores to do as soon as she met him. Finally, when he thought he was done, Mrs. Armistead said, "Last chores, Abraham. For dinner we're having stew, corn on the cob, and apple pie. I'll work on the stew, but you're going to be on the front porch shucking corn and peeling apples until there's nothing left in front of you." And with that she led him outside where there were two huge baskets filled to the brim with apples and corn. Abraham started peeling and shucking. Periodically the widow would check on him to see how much he had left to get an idea of when they'd eat. Little known fact about Abraham Lincoln – he was none too good at shucking corn and peeling apples. After checking on him for the tenth time Mrs. Armistead was frustrated. She said, "Abraham, how the hell can you be expected to lead a country if you can't even help with dinner?” Abe replied, "Relax, Mrs. Armistead. I only have four cores and seven ears to go."3843[585](https://x.com/RCdeWinter/status/1917444635636687074/analytics)

but suddenly I'm the weirdo for adding tights and a cape.

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