Yo mama so ugly, she’s the reason the Wonder Pets have a FlyBoat!

the one who sneezed gets the blessing.

A shituation

It helped me pick a shoe...

To make a bust

Hysterectomy

So he sends the boatswain to the crew quarters. The boatswain walks in and says: "Bet I can hit the wall with my dick so hard, the whole ship will blow apart?" The crew yells: "You're on!" He swings, slams it—and the ship explodes into pieces. Later, the captain and the boatswain are clinging to a piece of wreckage. The captain says: "You idiot... the torpedo missed."

They go above and beyond

Mince Harry Disclaimer (Nothing against him, joke works works with any prince) that falls on a woodchipper

Excuse me, but I've ordered the steak

An air traffic control tower suddenly lost communication with a small twin-engine aircraft. A moment later the tower landline rang and was answered by one of the employees. The passenger riding with the pilot who lost communication was on a cellular phone. He yelled, “Mayday Mayday Mayday! The pilot had an instant and fatal heart attack. I grabbed his cell phone out of his pocket and he had told me before we took off he had the tower on his speed dial memory. I am flying upside down at 18,000 feet and traveling at 180 mph. Mayday Mayday Mayday!" The employee in the tower immediately put him on speaker phone and said, "Calm down, we acknowledge you and we'll guide you down after a few questions. The first thing is not to panic. Remain calm!" He began his series of questions: Tower: "How do you know you are traveling at 18,000 feet?" Aircraft: "I can see that it reads 18,000 feet on the altimeter dial in front of me." Tower: "Okay, that's good, remain calm. How do you know you're traveling at 180 mph?" Aircraft: "I can see that it reads 180 mph on the airspeed dial in front of me." Tower: "Okay, this is great so far, but it's heavily overcast. So how do you know you're flying upside down?" Aircraft: "The pee from my pants is running out of my shirt collar."