Why didn't the turkey eat dinner?

The first girl introduces herself and says "Hi, I'm rose, I'm named rose because when I was born, a rose landed on my head". The second girl says "Hi, I'm named Iris, because of the same reason, when I was born, an Iris landed on my head". The two girls look at the remaining girl and asked her "and what's your name?" The third girl replied "RefRiGeRaToR"

I don't know and I don't care

...so I put some fruit and lemonade in it and now she's sangria than ever!

What does a redneck mean when he says that for his college experience he's 'going to go study abroad'? He's going to enroll in a college in the next county over.

A priest, the pope, and a hitman walk into a bar. All are dressed in simple clothes and know nothing of each other. As happenstance would have it, they settle in at the bar next to one another. The priest and Pope settle on a simple mixed drink. The hitman orders a whiskey neat. The 3 men become well acquainted as the night progresses and drinks flow. The hitman, asks the two, “so what do you two gentlemen do for a living and is the money any good?” The priest says, “I’m a priest so I don’t care much for money but I make a health salary” the Pope says “Well I’m the pope so the Vatican pays for my necessities and I, in turn, focus on the serving the people. How about yourself?” And the hitman looks up and responds, “I can’t tell you what I do for a living but rest assured I make a killing” (Written by me so go easy)

Polly wanna cookie?

I believe his exact words were "Kareem, get the Monet".

“No fucking chance”, he said.

A Holocaust survivor dies, goes to Heaven and meets God. He tells him a Holocaust joke. God says, "That's not funny." The Holocaust survivor replies, "Well, I guess you had to be there."

One says to the other, “Please pass the soap.” The other says, “No soap, radio!”