Yo mama so fat

So I punched him in the nose.

He opens the door and the man at the door says: "Howdy and welcome to the neighbourhood. I'm Billy and I'm your neighbour from the ranch up the road." "Well howdy." says Bob. "Nice to make your acquaintence.". Billy says: "I'm having a party this Saturday, starting around 8PM and I would love you to come so as to welcome you properly. There's going to be drinking. Fighting. And fucking. It'll be great fun.". "That does sound like fun, Billy." Says Bob. "What should I wear? Is there a dress code?". "Well," says Billy, "it don't matter. It's only going to be me and you.".

At the funeral, the priest looks skyward and says, "At least they're finally together." A guy sitting in the front row asks, "Excuse me Father, but do you mean her and her first husband, or her and her second husband?" The priest says, "I mean her legs."

Because seven was a known six offender.

Little Xe/Xer's.

I told her to leaf me alone.

But then the kids really had a hard time finding the homepage.

He's my neighbor, I live in an apartment. He's heavyset, real great guy though he helped me when I moved in.

Sometimes Mayo neighs

1. My mother taught me TO APPRECIATE A JOB WELL DONE . "If you're going to kill each other, do it outside.. I just finished cleaning." 2. My mother taught me RELIGION. "You better pray that will come out of the carpet." 3. My mother taught me about TIME TRAVEL. "If you don't straighten up, I'm going to knock you into the middle of next week!" 4. My mother taught me LOGIC. "Because I said so, that's why." 5. My mother taught me MORE LOGIC . "If you fall out of that swing and break your neck, you're not going to the store with me." "Make sure you wear clean underwear, in case you're in an accident." 7. My mother taught me IRONY. "Keep crying, and I'll give you something to cry about." 8. My mother taught me about CONTORTION-ISM. "Will you look at that dirt on the back of your neck!" 9. My mother taught me about STAMINA "You'll sit there until all that spinach is gone." 10. My mother taught me about WEATHER. "This room of yours looks as if a tornado went through it." 11. My mother taught me about HYPOCRISY. "If I told you once, I've told you a million times. Don't exaggerate!" 12. My mother taught me the CIRCLE OF LIFE. "I brought you into this world, and I can take you out.." 13. My mother taught me about BEHAVIOR MODIFICATION . "Stop acting like your father!" 14. My mother taught me about ENVY. "There are millions of less fortunate children in this world who don't have wonderful parents like you do." 15. My mother taught me about ANTICIPATION. "Just wait until we get home." 16. My mother taught me about RECEIVING . "You are going to get it when you get home!" 17. My mother taught me MEDICAL SCIENCE. "If you don't stop crossing your eyes they’re going to get stuck that way." 18. My mother taught me ESP. "Put your sweater on; don't you think I know when you are cold?" 19. My mother taught me HUMOR. "When that lawn mower cuts off your toes, don't come running to me." 20. My mother taught me HOW TO BECOME AN ADULT . "If you don't eat your vegetables, you'll never grow up." 21. My mother taught me GENETICS. "You're just like your father." 22. My mother taught me about my ROOTS. "Shut that door behind you. Do you think you were born in a barn?" 23. My mother taught me WISDOM. "When you get to be my age, you'll understand." 24. My mother taught me about JUSTICE. "One day you'll have kids and I hope they turn out just like you!"