Someone stole all the toilets from the sheriff's office.

He left the lad with the desk sergeant along with some diapers, snacks, and instructions for an afternoon nap. When he got back from his shift his son was nowhere to be seen. He asked the sergeant where his boy was and was told he was in the jail because he wouldn't take his nap. "Why would you put a little boy in jail for that!?" he asked. The sergeant said, "Standard procedure: He was resisting a rest."

The police are looking into it

Butanal

As we all know, April showers bring May flowers, and of course Mayflowers bring pilgrims, and pilgrims bring death and disease, but apparently death and disease brings Thanksgiving, and Thanksgiving brings football, football brings fans, and fans bring beer. Basically, what I’m saying is: I like the month of April, because it means I get to drink.

The rooster

Begins to call his wife “mother of six” rather than by her first name. The wife, amused at first, chuckles. A few years down the road, she has grown tired of this. “Mother of six,” he would say, “what’s for dinner tonight? Get me a beer!” She gets very frustrated. Finally, while attending a party with her husband, he jokingly yells out, “Mother of six, I think it’s time to go!” The wife immediately shouts back, “I’ll be right with you, father of four!”

Because they peel easily.

He was part of the counter culture.

There was Diana Ross

I’m going to have to resort to violins