What do you call a man with a rubber toe?

You could say I’m *skyr*ed!

Just one test I was cocky, and went out before hand for drinks with friends. Had one too many drinks, and wasn’t really sober for the test. It was easily the worst calculus test I ever took. Almost flunked the class because of it. But I learned my lesson. I will never drink and derive again.

Eh, I

She needed some Judi Denchers afterwards.

A Hindu and a Sikh were sitting next to each other on a train. (Background info: Hindus are typically vegetarian while Sikhs eat meat.) The Hindu wanted to open the window, but couldn't do it. The Sikh reached over and opened it for him, and said "you know, if you ate some chicken once in a way, you would get some strength." Then, he wanted to move his seat forward, but couldn't do it. The Sikh moved it for him, and again said "you know, if you ate some chicken once in a way, you would get some strength." A couple hours later, as the train was approaching the station, the Hindu was playing with the emergency chain, hitting it back and forth. The Sikh, thinking he wanted to pull it, reached over and pulled it for him, and said "you know, if you ate some chicken once in a way, you would get some strength." The siren went off and the train made an emergency stop. The conductor came to see what was going on and the police soon arrived. The Hindu said to the Sikh, "you know, if you ate some rice once in a way, you would get some brains."

Because they're afraid of whales.

Oh no my soy socks!

Because where there is a Will, there is a Way.

I finally realized, I left my phone in Airplane mode.

She said no whey