Yo mama so fat

Police believe it was Poachers.

A talking frog shows up in the offices of a posh downtown Manhattan bank. He proceeds to ask a bank officer for a loan of $1 million. Patty Whak , the loan officer , said she didn’t understand and he says “well, My name is Kermit and my father is Mick Jagger. We have banked at various branches of this institution several times .” The loan officer still protested and said for that size of a loan they would need some type of collateral, so Kermit produced a small ceramic elephant and placed it on her desk. Patty was very confused and excused herself to go speak with the manager carrying the trinket with her . When she relayed the crazy story to her manager, she showed him the small ceramic elephant and said “I don’t know what to do, what even is this?” The bank manager replied “it’s a knickknack, Patty Whak. Give the frog a loan . His old man is a Rolling Stone. “ I’ll leave now….

Kg

A preacher goes to Alaska to hunt. He has a moose tag, and within a day, he manages to find a very large bull moose with a 60” antler spread. He gets to within 40 yards of the moose and has him in his rifle sights, then suddenly he sees a flash of fur, and realizes a very large Brown bear is charging towards him. He drops his rifle, gets on his knees and begins to pray, “Dear Lord, please make this bear a Christian!”. The bear immediately stops in his tracks, puts his paws together, looks up into the sky, and begins to pray… “Dear Heavenly Father, please bless this meal for which we are about to receive”.

He lives very close to me. A stone's throw away, in fact.

I wanted to try being an exhibitionist, so I went into this restaurant and sat down at the table and when no one was looking I took off all of my clothes. Maybe prison wasn't a good place to start.

A college freshman was mowing lawns for a summer job. At a particular house, having a huge yard, he was allowed to use the shower after he had finished. On one occasion, as he entered the bathroom, he was shocked to see the lady of the house stark naked. “Haven’t you seen a naked woman before,” she asked. “Yes,” he replied, “but on the previous occasions, I was paying them.” “Well, we can fix that. Your choice, the usual $200, or we can go have fun in bed.” The boy hesitated, knowing he needed the money, but her luscious body was too much to resist. After they had finished, she asked, “Well, was I as good as any of those filthy prostitutes you fucked?” “Yeah, in fact, you were the best prostitute I ever had!”

Something I learned in heinzsight

We eventually broke it off.

They succeeded where others failed because they had Atilla.